I don’t often talk about this to my friends who still smoke, but I am convinced that one of the reasons that I failed to give up smoking so many times was that they would not let me!

What do I mean?

Well, here’s an example. It was one Friday night a long time ago and I had decided to give up smoking. At that time, my Friday night and Saturday nights were basically my whole life! I worked hard during the week and Friday and Saturday nights were my time to let loose and relax in bars and clubs with my friends.

You’re probably thinking that a Friday night was not the best time to decide to quit smoking – you’re right! About three beers later the thought of not having a cigarette was starting to become unbearable. All the girls I wanted to go talk to were smoking too.

So that was my situation. Surrounded by my friends having a great time (and smoking), the great looking ladies having a great time (and smoking). So……next thing you know, I’m having a great time (and smoking).

I initially thought that my apparent total lack of willpower stemmed from the amount of beer coursing through my system and reducing my ability to resist a smoke. But that wasn’t the real reason. It was a contributory factor, certainly, but it wasn’t the determining factor.

What was the Real Reason?

The real reason I think that I had a pack of cigarettes that night is that my friends who smoked did not want me to leave their ‘private smoking club’. Strange, but the more I think about it, the more I think it’s true.

Maybe it’s because smoking is a ‘them versus us’ activity, where the smoker is the ‘little guy’ valiantly fighting for his or her right to taint themselves with this peculiar habit.

“At least they didn’t stop me smoking, damn it”

The smoker will cry, victoriously raising a nicotine stained hand up to the skies, before noisily hacking their lungs up into a hospital kidney dish and passing over to the other side.

Sorry. I do get carried away sometimes. The danger of the smug ex-smoker I guess.

Back to my theory. I think that when a friend of a group of smoking friends expresses their desire to quit smoking, the others in the group (albeit subconsciously) try to prevent you from doing so. The reasons are not because your friends do not like you or don’t want you to be happy. Quite the opposite. They like you, so they don’t want you to leave their inner circle.

Be aware of this and be prepared for it. That way you are expecting it to happen and can plan a strategy to stop it becoming yet another failed giving up attempt. Don't forget, once you have given up, your smoking friends are highly likely to give up too, as you will be proof that it can be done spectacularly well!

Pete Davidson
21 June 2008

Pete owns Quitting Smoking Today helping people learn about effective ways of kicking the smoking habit

Source: http://www.quitting-smoking-today.com

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